Loneliness: difference between physically being alone and feeling lonely

Loneliness is a universal human emotion that is both complex and unique to each individual. While it is commonly misconceived as the act of being in solitude and not having people around, in reality, loneliness is more of a state of mind. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness can affect even the most seemingly outgoing person. Being the ‘life of the party’ does not necessarily mean that someone is exempt from feeling lonely. In this article, we will show what is the key difference between being alone and feeling lonely.

Loneliness is commonly accompanied by deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy and poor self-esteem and can impact several areas of functioning. An important distinction to make is the difference between physically being alone and experiencing the feeling of being lonely. People who are often physically alone do not necessarily always feel like they are lonely. They might choose to live with comparatively less contact with other people and be content spending more time with themselves. While similarly, one can be surrounded by people or have a very active social life or be in a relationship, and still feel lonely – especially if they do not feel understood or cared for by those around them.

Being alone is most beneficial when it is done voluntarily. It is equally important for people to feel like they can return to their social world when they want to. A core contributor to loneliness is a lack of meaningful connection to others. This includes the quality of relationships with, and connection to, one’s family, friends, colleagues, and the wider society.

Loneliness is also interconnected with certain psychological conditions. For example, those with social anxiety experience difficulty engaging in everyday tasks and activities that involve other people, which may lead to a lack of meaningful relationships in their lives, and in turn result in feelings of loneliness. Similarly, individuals with depression experience low mood, low energy levels, and a lack of interest in social interaction.

On a physiological level, loneliness can increase the amount of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body. This can affect your immune system and raise your risk for a range of health concerns, including high blood pressure and heart disease. It also contributes to increases in alcoholism and drug use, altered brain function, Alzheimer’s disease progression, antisocial behavior, decreased memory and learning, poor decision-making, stress, sleep-related difficulties, and even suicide.

What you can do to tackle loneliness:
– Strengthen the quality of existing relationships
– Prioritize your well-being
– Pursue your hobbies
– Get involved in the wider community
– Consult a mental health professional