Tag: emotions

An Invitation to Refresh, Replenish, Rejuvenate and manage the stress in our daily lives- Nature Therapy

By Suzanne Radford

Feeling housebound and the effects of ‘cabin fever’?

One way to help manage stress and anxiety is to connect to nature as a way to quieten the mind and body.  I work between the beauty of the sea and desert in the UAE and the forest and mountains where I live in Southern Portugal. Great if you can access natural spaces from your balcony, garden or walk on a beach or through trees but you can also gain benefits from connecting to nature from inside your home or office. I offer invitations on my forest bathing walks, to sit and feel the breeze on the skin, to notice sounds near and far, to smell the scent of leaves, bark and flowers and to taste the sweet freshness of the air. Water invitations are a lovely way to awaken all the senses and relax.

To observe water in a natural setting and listen to its sound can put our overloaded minds at rest. Whilst you are not required to actually swim, one of the most powerful elements of a forest bathing walk is being invited to sit or stand by the water and notice how it flows and what the sensations are that you feel when placing your hands or feet into the water. At home you could create a foot spa by using warm water with a drop of lavender or peppermint essential oil and soak your feet, close your eyes and notice how it feels.

Negative ions generated by waterfalls, ocean waves, and thunderstorms can give us a boost, negative ions in the atmosphere accelerate our ability to absorb oxygen, they can balance our mood and the stress hormone, serotonin. Negative ions can help rejuvenate the mind and improve our sense of wellbeing and even bring about a good night’s sleep.

So, as you sit with water notice its movement, the ripples or shapes that the water makes as you gently move your feet through it. As you sit with your eyes closed, notice the scent and breathe in, and breathe out. This could be done in the same way just soaking your hands in water. Imagine you are sitting by a river or waterfall and imagine the sound and sensations. If you are feeling any tension in the body gently stretch it out and slowly allow your body the time and space to just sit with the feeling of water and notice how it feels.

I invite you to sit with the waterfall and notice how the water flows. Follow the lines of the water as it falls. Watch the movement, the light and the shapes. Listen to the sound and breathe in, and breathe out…

Nature Therapy Waterfalls

Sipping on a refreshing juice or herbal tea or a chilled glass of water with a slice of cucumber or lemon and let the healing power of water wash over you leaving you feeling revitalized and rejuvenated.

 

Suzanne Radford is a Nature Therapy & Communication Coach, Forest Bathing Guide, Founder of The Nature Pod and International Consultant with the Human Relations Institute & Clinics. Contact us to find out more about our Nature Therapy for Stress Management 6 week online support group and series of workshops or our 1:1 coaching in nature therapy. 

Loneliness: difference between physically being alone and feeling lonely

Loneliness is a universal human emotion that is both complex and unique to each individual. While it is commonly misconceived as the act of being in solitude and not having people around, in reality, loneliness is more of a state of mind. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness can affect even the most seemingly outgoing person. Being the ‘life of the party’ does not necessarily mean that someone is exempt from feeling lonely. In this article, we will show what is the key difference between being alone and feeling lonely.

Loneliness is commonly accompanied by deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy and poor self-esteem and can impact several areas of functioning. An important distinction to make is the difference between physically being alone and experiencing the feeling of being lonely. People who are often physically alone do not necessarily always feel like they are lonely. They might choose to live with comparatively less contact with other people and be content spending more time with themselves. While similarly, one can be surrounded by people or have a very active social life or be in a relationship, and still feel lonely – especially if they do not feel understood or cared for by those around them.

Being alone is most beneficial when it is done voluntarily. It is equally important for people to feel like they can return to their social world when they want to. A core contributor to loneliness is a lack of meaningful connection to others. This includes the quality of relationships with, and connection to, one’s family, friends, colleagues, and the wider society.

Loneliness is also interconnected with certain psychological conditions. For example, those with social anxiety experience difficulty engaging in everyday tasks and activities that involve other people, which may lead to a lack of meaningful relationships in their lives, and in turn result in feelings of loneliness. Similarly, individuals with depression experience low mood, low energy levels, and a lack of interest in social interaction.

On a physiological level, loneliness can increase the amount of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body. This can affect your immune system and raise your risk for a range of health concerns, including high blood pressure and heart disease. It also contributes to increases in alcoholism and drug use, altered brain function, Alzheimer’s disease progression, antisocial behavior, decreased memory and learning, poor decision-making, stress, sleep-related difficulties, and even suicide.

What you can do to tackle loneliness:
– Strengthen the quality of existing relationships
– Prioritize your well-being
– Pursue your hobbies
– Get involved in the wider community
– Consult a mental health professional

What are boundaries?

Healthy boundaries are an important part of forming one’s identity and are a vital part of maintaining positive mental health and well-being. Common misconceptions, when it comes to setting healthy boundaries, revolve around the idea of being rude, disrespectful, and stubborn. In reality, setting boundaries are an important communicative instrument that outlines what an individual is willing to accept and what they are not. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, and material, and can range from those that are negotiable to those that may be more rigid. A complete lack of boundaries may indicate that someone lacks a strong sense of identity, is easily influenced by other people, or is even commonly taken advantage of.

Physical

Physical boundaries involve personal space, comfort with touch, and physical needs such as needing to eat, rest, and sleep. It’s certainly okay to tell others that you don’t like to be touched or that you would like some more space. It is also okay to tell others that you are hungry and would like to get something to eat. These can sound like “I’m not too keen on hugging, how about a handshake?”

Physical boundary violations include receiving unwanted or inappropriate touch, standing too close. It can also involve having someone come into your personal space in an uncomfortable way eg. A friend that walks into your house unannounced without knocking or ringing the bell.

Emotional

Emotional boundaries involve feelings, energy, and values. Setting emotional boundaries includes identifying how much emotional energy you are taking in, knowing when to share, and limiting emotional sharing with those who respond in an invalidating manner. This kind of boundary can sound like “I hear that this conversation is important to you. Right now is not a good time for me to take all of this in. Do you think we can get back to this at a later time?”

Emotional boundary violations can include assuming how other people feel, dismissing and/or criticizing feelings.

Material

Material boundaries refer to items and possessions such as your home, car, clothes, money, etc. It is important to understand and be clear on what you are willing and not willing to share, and how you expect your materials to be treated by the people you share them with. This kind of boundary may sound like “Sure, I would be happy to lend you my jacket. However, I need it back by Friday.”

Violations of material boundaries occur when things you have shared are destroyed, stolen, or ‘borrowed’ too frequently.

Verbalizing our feelings and expressing our needs begins in early childhood with our families, and then in our friend circles. These early boundaries are internalized and determine how comfortable we are standing up for ourselves. The inability to set boundaries usually stems from fears such as abandonment, losing the relationship, hurting other people’s feelings, being judged, being disliked, made fun of, etc.

Initially setting boundaries can come with a sense of guilt which can make it feel like it’s the wrong thing to do. Other people may not always be understanding of the reasons for our boundaries. Some may show resistance and even respond aggressively – this may be due to the possibility that, to them, your boundary means that they will not get what they want. Boundaries can be thought of as the terms under which a relationship can progress further. In contrast to common stereotypical misconceptions, people place boundaries in their relationships because they want to continue to carry them further in their life, and in a healthier manner.

Boundaries are an important aspect of self-care and are important in all aspects of our lives. They allow us to be our true selves, set realistic expectations, and create safety. As essential as it is to prioritize our needs, it is also equally critical that we respect the boundaries that other people have set for themselves.

Trauma Response (The 4 F’s – Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn)

How does your body respond when you perceive danger or a threat? Often known as a trauma response, it is an initial reaction that is triggered when there is a perception of or an actual threat, like an oncoming car or a growling dog. Research has compiled evidence for different trauma responses that we tend to display in order to protect ourselves from the threat or perceived threat. The responses are usually referred to as the 4Fs – Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn and have evolved as a survival mechanism to help us react quickly to life-threatening situations. When our brain perceives a threat, we automatically react with one of these 4 trauma responses, depending on factors such as individual differences and past experiences of trauma.

In saying so, it is possible for some individuals to have an overactivation of their trauma responses. What this means is that even in non-threatening situations, their trauma responses could be activated. Research suggests that an overactivation of our trauma responses is associated with a decline in our physical and psychological health. That is, chronic stress may contribute to high blood pressure, burnout, decreased immunity, and an increase in anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, and substance use problems.

In this blog, we’ll further explore what each response entails, along with the associated thoughts and behaviors, followed by some helpful ways to cope with overactive trauma responses.

Fight Response

Fight types protect themselves from threat through conflict.

Those that tend towards the fight response believe that if they establish power over the threat, it will result in security and control. This response may feel like an adrenaline rush, accompanied with a desire to defend oneself through fighting, yelling at, or controlling others. The thought behind this response is “I need to eliminate the threat before it eliminates me.” Behaviors that might indicate this trauma response are:

  • Crying
  • Hands in fists, desire to punch
  • Flexed/tight jaw, grinding teeth
  • Fight in eyes, glaring, fight in voice
  • Desire to stomp, kick, smash with legs, feet
  • Feelings of anger/rage
  • Knotted stomach/nausea, burning stomach 

Flight Response

Flight types protect themselves from threat through escape.

Those that engage in this trauma response, cope with a threat by running from or fleeing the situation. People engaging in a flight response often report difficulties with relaxation and sitting still as they are constantly worrying, rushing, hiding, or panicking when they feel threatened. The thought behind the response is “I need to run from the situation before it can hurt me.” Behaviors that might indicate this trauma response are:

  • Restless legs, feet /numbness in legs
  • Anxiety/shallow breathing
  • Big/darting eyes
  • Leg/foot movement
  • Reported or observed fidgety-ness, restlessness, feeling trapped

Freeze Response

Freeze types protect themselves from threat through dissociation.

When faced with a threatening situation, those that tend towards this trauma response unconsciously detach from the situation by “freezing”, or spacing out. The body can feel rigid and become immobilized by the stress. This way of dealing with perceived danger may result in difficulty making decisions or getting motivated. The thought behind this response is “If I don’t do anything, the threat cannot hurt me.” Behaviors that might indicate this trauma response are:

  • Feeling stuck in some part of the body
  • Feeling cold/frozen, numb, pale skin
  • Sense of stiffness, heaviness
  • Holding breath/restricted breathing
  • Sense of dread, heart pounding
  • Decreased heart rate (can sometimes increase)

 Fawn Response (newer to the field and not as researched)

Fawn types protect themselves from threat through placation.

Those that tend to the fawn response avoid or deal with conflict through “people-pleasing.” They also experience difficulties in saying no and are afraid to share what they really think or feel in fear of how others might perceive them. They also are so accommodating of other’s needs, that they tend to ignore their own. The thought behind this response is, “If I can appease this person, I can be safe from conflict or pain.” Behaviors that might indicate this trauma response are:

  • Over apologizing to others
  • Difficulty saying no
  • Excessive flattering the other person
  • Going out of the way to please others
  • Neglecting one’s own needs
  • Pretending to agree with others

As mentioned, when our trauma responses are overactive, we are more likely to feel threatened by non-threatening stressors. Fortunately, there are some ways to cope when trauma responses are overactive:

  • Learn relaxation techniques: Techniques such as meditation, yoga, or deep abdominal breathing can help in counteracting the stress responses and allow the body to enter into a calmer state.
  • Engage in physical exercises: Engaging in physical activity is another way to promote calmness in the body. The benefits of regularly exercising have been long mentioned in the research such as increasing endorphins and decreasing stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol.
  • Seek social support: Finding support from the people around you can help reduce psychological and physiological reactions to perceived threats. Research has found evidence for support by listing benefits such as providing a sense of safety and protection, which in turn helps you feel less stressed and fearful.
  • Gain awareness of triggers: When we are able to understand what triggers our trauma responses, it leaves us in a better position to understand our responses and create new, healthier coping strategies to deal with the threat or trigger.
  • Practice self-compassion: It is also important to not judge your trauma responses or feel ashamed of them. Recognize that these responses, at one point, served as your understanding of the best way to cope with a threat. With an open mind, gain an understanding that our trauma responses may not seem to always be useful in protecting us, the way they did in the past, in current non-threatening situations.

Do you recognize yourself in any of these trauma responses?

 

Bullying in the Workplace

Workplace Bullying

With bullying, the idea that usually comes to mind may involve children or teenagers misbehaving, discriminating, and/or harassing one another. Bullying commonly involves a power imbalance and includes behaviors that are unwanted, threatening, humiliating, harmful, aggressive, offensive, and/or intimidating. These can be both verbal and physical. Bullying can be thought of as a mechanism used to re-take control and proclaim dominance that an individual may have felt they lost at some point in their lives. Bullies usually target those who may seem smaller, weaker, younger, or more vulnerable than themselves.

However, these instances and behaviors are not exclusive to youngsters and are also prevalent in various aspects of adult life, such as interpersonal and professional relationships. Although it may be widely observed in society, it is not always recognized as ‘bullying’ and thus, appropriate interventions are not implemented. Whether it is between children, teenagers, or adults, bullying is an issue that deserves attention as it can have a detrimental impact on an individual’s mental and physical health. Mental health effects include worrying about work constantly, wanting to avoid going to work, needing time off to recover from stress, a general loss of interest, and an increased risk of anxiety and depression. The physical health effects include feeling sick or anxious when thinking about work, digestive problems, high blood pressure, headaches, decreased appetite, and poor quality of sleep.

Bullying in the workplace also causes financial difficulties as individuals tend to leave their jobs as a result of being bullied. Some examples of bullying in this context include personal attacks such as yelling, threatening, and spreading rumors, as well as manipulation tactics, such as isolation, sabotage, micromanagement, and unrealistic deadlines.

In the work environment, bullies are often found to be bosses or high-functioning employees who are valued and supported by others because of their status and contribution to the company. In these cases, bullying may involve the abuse of power such as unjustified negative performance reviews, denial of time off, and threats of termination or demotion. However, bullying can also occur in other levels of employment. Those working at the same level may bully through gossip, rumors, work sabotage, and/or criticism. Lower-level employees may bully those above them by showing continuous disrespect, refusing to complete tasks, and doing things that may portray their superior in a negative light. Bullying not only impacts the target but increases stress for all those who witness it. Employees are also impacted in the form of decreases in trust, productivity, morale, and efficiency as well as increases in absenteeism and employee turnover.

Bullying has been shown to be more prevalent in work environments that:

  • Are stressful
  • Change frequently
  • Have heavy workloads
  • Have unclear policies about employee behavior
  • Have poor employee communication and relationships
  • Have more employees who are bored and worried about job security

Bullying is recognized as a serious problem in many organizations, and while most have a zero-tolerance policy, bullying can be difficult to prove, which in turn, makes it difficult for the necessary measures to be taken. Witnesses to bullying often refrain from intervening and stay silent out of a fear of becoming a target themselves. It is important to speak up and attempt to stop bullying when we witness it, as ignoring it contributes to a harmful work environment.

Effective ways to help include:

Offering support – this could involve being a witness if the targeted individual wants to ask the bully to stop.

Listening – If someone being bullied doesn’t feel safe reporting the bullying to HR, they may find it beneficial to have someone to talk to.

Reporting the incident – A third-party account of what happened may help bring attention to the problem, allowing it to be taken seriously by management and others.

How to Relax at Work – Simple Techniques

While it may be well known that aspects of work can cause stress, less is known about ways to effectively relieve it. Whether it’s a new job, a promotion, tight deadlines, or uncooperative colleagues, everyone has aspects of their worklife that stress them out. In such times, it is important to manage thoughts and feelings in a way that helps rejuvenate, rather than compound what we are already experiencing. Some people may find that their work stressors not only affect their professional life, but aspects of their personal life as well, such as health, family, and relationships. Practicing techniques how to relax at work is one of the easiest ways to lower stress levels, manage symptoms of anxiety and depression, reduce absenteeism and increase productivity.
Although avoiding stressful situations altogether sounds like an appealing idea, this may not always be possible. Relaxation techniques involve refocusing attention towards something calming and increasing awareness of bodily sensations. Contrary to popular belief, relaxation is not only relevant to enjoying a hobby or achieving peace of mind. It is a process that decreases the effects of stress on the mind as well as the body.
Individuals who are more relaxed at work report being more motivated, take fewer sick leaves, and engage in less procrastination. Effectively organizing the physical workspace has also shown to declutter and calm the mind and boost productivity. Some relaxing elements of work environments include elements of nature such as plants and aquariums. While direct contact with nature has several health benefits, research shows that even glimpses of nature through a window or photographs can improve mental health and satisfaction and reduce stress levels.
Taking breaks from long periods of work is also an important part of maintaining health, efficiency, and productivity.
Some health benefits of relaxation include:
  • Improved digestion
  • Higher energy levels
  • Increased confidence
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Improved concentration
  • Improved quality of sleep
  • Reduced activity of stress hormones
  • Increased blood flow to major muscles
Some types of relaxation include:

Autogenic Relaxation

Autogenic relaxation is a technique that focuses on teaching the body to respond to verbal commands. This can include using visual imagery and bodily awareness to reduce stress. For some, it can look like repeating words and/or phrases either mentally or verbally, encouraging relaxation and reducing muscle tension. For example, individuals may imagine a peaceful environment, then focus on controlled and relaxed breathing which slows down their heart rate. Attention can then be diverted to feeling other physiological sensations such as relaxing each part of the body.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This technique focuses on slowly tensing and relaxing each muscle group, directing individuals’ focus to the difference between muscle tension and relaxation and simultaneously increasing awareness of physical sensations. One way of doing this is starting by tensing and relaxing the toe muscles, progressively working up to the muscles of the head and neck, and then back down to the toes. Some practice tensing for five seconds, relaxing for thirty seconds, and then repeating.

Visualization

This relaxation technique involves forming mental conceptions to take a visual journey to a peaceful and calming place or situation. Relaxing using this technique is most effective when the sensations associated with all the senses are incorporated into the visualized scenario. An example of visualizing relaxing on the beach may include thinking about the warmth of the sun on one’s body, the smell of saltwater, the sound of crashing waves, and the texture of sand. A quiet spot void of distractions where individuals can close their eyes, loosen any tight clothing and focus on their breathing helps to make the visualization more vivid.
It is important to remember that instinctually implementing these techniques is a skill that will improve gradually with time and practice. Different techniques may be more suited to different types of people. With this in mind, it may be beneficial to consider professional mental health services if feelings of stress and discomfort are persistent and seem overwhelming.

Resilience at Work

A common recurring question within the work environment is ‘why do some people thrive and succeed in times of difficulty and others do not?’. Although there is no one right answer or characteristic of a person that guarantees organizational success, a skill that seems to significantly contribute is resilience. By definition, resilience is the ability to effectively adapt to difficulty and move forward. Several misconceptions surround the representation of a resilient person such as someone who is ‘thick-skinned’, never fails, never feels stress, and is immune to negative emotions. This stereotypical understanding of resilience is further propagated in the media for example, where individuals are praised and portrayed in a positive light for equating these unrealistic and inaccurate standards to the meaning of resilience. It is not a characteristic that some people possess, and others do not, rather, it is an active process that requires maintenance. In reality, being a resilient person does not mean being unaffected by negative situations or experiences. On the contrary, being resilient requires confronting the things that bring discomfort and experiencing emotional pain. In light of this, it is also important to realize that building resilience is a personal journey that requires considerable patience, effort, introspection, and practice.

While also considering that many individuals are now a part of a constantly connected and highly demanding work culture, resilience can be seen as especially useful in the workplace as for many people this can be a source of significant distress. Unrealistic demands, organizational change, lack of recognition, and poor interpersonal relationships are some of the most commonly reported work-related stressors, which can be naturally confusing and difficult to navigate. Coping with these stressors in a healthy way requires maintaining several interconnected factors of resilience. Such factors include how individuals manage their thoughts and feelings, set goals and foster self-motivation, focus on positive change in a way that encourages the acceptance of failures, and foster support systems inclusive of emotional and physical care.

In practice, to some people, this may look like journaling, engaging in prayer and religious rituals, or meditation and mindfulness practices. It can also look like taking time to engage in areas of their life other than work, such as pursuing a hobby or spending time with family and friends. In essence, these help individuals connect to themselves in a way that works for them and nurtures purpose in their lives as a whole, which in turn, helps them cope better with stressors in different aspects of their life such as work.

Being a resilient person in the workplace is equally important for employees of all statures as all of them, on some level, have to navigate difficult situations. Such instances may present themselves, for example, while working in collaboration with team members or adapting to a change in the organizational structure. Understanding the importance of resilience promotes empathy and consideration for others, allowing for increased internal support. Resilience enables people to separate themselves from their stressors and view their situations from an impersonal perspective. This further helps them communicate their needs and wants more effectively, handle challenges better and reduce their likelihood of burnout and presenteeism. From a broader perspective, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth and learning encourages an optimistic mindset, where individuals are passion-driven and proactively seek development, which further stimulates the progression and productivity of the company.