An Invitation to Refresh, Replenish, Rejuvenate and manage the stress in our daily lives- Nature Therapy

By Suzanne Radford

Feeling housebound and the effects of ‘cabin fever’?

One way to help manage stress and anxiety is to connect to nature as a way to quieten the mind and body.  I work between the beauty of the sea and desert in the UAE and the forest and mountains where I live in Southern Portugal. Great if you can access natural spaces from your balcony, garden or walk on a beach or through trees but you can also gain benefits from connecting to nature from inside your home or office. I offer invitations on my forest bathing walks, to sit and feel the breeze on the skin, to notice sounds near and far, to smell the scent of leaves, bark and flowers and to taste the sweet freshness of the air. Water invitations are a lovely way to awaken all the senses and relax.

To observe water in a natural setting and listen to its sound can put our overloaded minds at rest. Whilst you are not required to actually swim, one of the most powerful elements of a forest bathing walk is being invited to sit or stand by the water and notice how it flows and what the sensations are that you feel when placing your hands or feet into the water. At home you could create a foot spa by using warm water with a drop of lavender or peppermint essential oil and soak your feet, close your eyes and notice how it feels.

Negative ions generated by waterfalls, ocean waves, and thunderstorms can give us a boost, negative ions in the atmosphere accelerate our ability to absorb oxygen, they can balance our mood and the stress hormone, serotonin. Negative ions can help rejuvenate the mind and improve our sense of wellbeing and even bring about a good night’s sleep.

So, as you sit with water notice its movement, the ripples or shapes that the water makes as you gently move your feet through it. As you sit with your eyes closed, notice the scent and breathe in, and breathe out. This could be done in the same way just soaking your hands in water. Imagine you are sitting by a river or waterfall and imagine the sound and sensations. If you are feeling any tension in the body gently stretch it out and slowly allow your body the time and space to just sit with the feeling of water and notice how it feels.

I invite you to sit with the waterfall and notice how the water flows. Follow the lines of the water as it falls. Watch the movement, the light and the shapes. Listen to the sound and breathe in, and breathe out…

Nature Therapy Waterfalls

Sipping on a refreshing juice or herbal tea or a chilled glass of water with a slice of cucumber or lemon and let the healing power of water wash over you leaving you feeling revitalized and rejuvenated.

 

Suzanne Radford is a Nature Therapy & Communication Coach, Forest Bathing Guide, Founder of The Nature Pod and International Consultant with the Human Relations Institute & Clinics. Contact us to find out more about our Nature Therapy for Stress Management 6 week online support group and series of workshops or our 1:1 coaching in nature therapy. 

Loneliness: difference between physically being alone and feeling lonely

Loneliness is a universal human emotion that is both complex and unique to each individual. While it is commonly misconceived as the act of being in solitude and not having people around, in reality, loneliness is more of a state of mind. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness can affect even the most seemingly outgoing person. Being the ‘life of the party’ does not necessarily mean that someone is exempt from feeling lonely. In this article, we will show what is the key difference between being alone and feeling lonely.

Loneliness is commonly accompanied by deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy and poor self-esteem and can impact several areas of functioning. An important distinction to make is the difference between physically being alone and experiencing the feeling of being lonely. People who are often physically alone do not necessarily always feel like they are lonely. They might choose to live with comparatively less contact with other people and be content spending more time with themselves. While similarly, one can be surrounded by people or have a very active social life or be in a relationship, and still feel lonely – especially if they do not feel understood or cared for by those around them.

Being alone is most beneficial when it is done voluntarily. It is equally important for people to feel like they can return to their social world when they want to. A core contributor to loneliness is a lack of meaningful connection to others. This includes the quality of relationships with, and connection to, one’s family, friends, colleagues, and the wider society.

Loneliness is also interconnected with certain psychological conditions. For example, those with social anxiety experience difficulty engaging in everyday tasks and activities that involve other people, which may lead to a lack of meaningful relationships in their lives, and in turn result in feelings of loneliness. Similarly, individuals with depression experience low mood, low energy levels, and a lack of interest in social interaction.

On a physiological level, loneliness can increase the amount of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body. This can affect your immune system and raise your risk for a range of health concerns, including high blood pressure and heart disease. It also contributes to increases in alcoholism and drug use, altered brain function, Alzheimer’s disease progression, antisocial behavior, decreased memory and learning, poor decision-making, stress, sleep-related difficulties, and even suicide.

What you can do to tackle loneliness:
– Strengthen the quality of existing relationships
– Prioritize your well-being
– Pursue your hobbies
– Get involved in the wider community
– Consult a mental health professional

Be your own best friend – Fostering Self-Compassion

When we are having a difficult time, when we make mistakes, or when things go wrong, it’s familiar for most of us to fall into harsh self-talk and judgment. Statements like “I hate myself” or “Why can’t I ever get things right!” pop in our head, leaving us feeling worse than we already do, right?

Take a minute to think about how you would respond to a dear friend, close family member, or a loved one if they had these same concerns? Many of us would be quick to support them, acting immediately with kindness, understanding, and encouragement and using statements such as “You tried your best” or “It’s okay to feel the way you do.

Now, imagine instead how it might feel to speak to yourself the way you speak to others. Directing these types of gentle responses internally, toward ourselves, is known as self-compassion. Described as “healing ourselves with kindness” by Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion encourages taking on a kinder, gentler approach in our most important relationship – the one we have with ourselves.

But why is it harder to be compassionate to ourselves? While being compassionate to others around us is attached to a positive connotation, expressing self-compassion has often been tied to a negative connotation. Common myths about self-compassion form some of the biggest blocks to developing a compassionate approach to the self. Of many, self-compassion has been conflated with narcissism, selfishness, and self-pity. It is important to recognize that these ideas are far from the truth. While self-compassion has a focus on the self, it’s more than just allowing ourselves to make mistakes, it’s about allowing ourselves to recover from these mistakes and move forward. Moreover, self-compassion helps us take care of ourselves, enabling us to take better care of those around us. It also gives us perspective and allows us to see our struggles in the larger context of shared humanity.

Just like the benefits of expressing compassion to others, there are also benefits to expressing compassion to ourselves. Research has reported an abundance of overall well-being benefits linked to self-compassion. That is, individuals who are more self-compassionate tend to have greater feelings of motivation, self-worth, happiness, and improved resilience that is needed to cope with stressful life events such as relationship breakups, job loss, and even retirement. Self-compassion can also reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and rumination. Some of the physical health benefits include improved immune system functioning, digestive and cardiovascular health.

The three elements of self-compassion

According to Dr. Neff, there are three elements of self-compassion that are important to understand. Those that have higher levels of self-compassion demonstrate these three elements: Self-kindness, Common humanity, and Mindfulness.

  1. Self-kindness (vs self-judgment): Self-kindness in the context of self-compassion is about approaching our shortcomings with kindness, warmth, and patience instead of judging or being critical with ourselves.
  2. Common humanity (vs isolation):  Recognizing that we are not alone in being imperfect or feeling hurt and that this experience is part of the collective human experience, rather than withdrawing or isolating ourselves from others.
  3. Mindfulness (vs over-identification): Allowing oneself to be aware of our thoughts and emotions whilst finding a balance to recognize them without the need to suppress or exaggerate them. Mindfulness also fosters acceptance of our inner world in the present moment.

Practicing self-compassion

Practicing self-compassion can be difficult, especially at first. Fortunately, it is a skill that can be learned and enhanced. Here are 6 ways that can help you start:

Develop self-awareness through mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness is a useful way in identifying your thoughts, feelings, and needs. As self-compassion is deeply rooted in mindfulness, it allows us to pay attention to our inner world and fosters acceptance of what we are feeling or thinking in the present moment.

Ask yourself “How would I talk to my friend?”

Next time you catch yourself being self-critical, try to reflect on how you would approach the situation if your friend was the one facing it. What would you say to him/her, and in what tone of voice would you say it? What would you do? Thinking about this could be the first step in reflecting on where you lie with being compassionate with yourself.

Bust the self-compassion myths

Change the way you think about self-compassion by being aware of the self-compassion myths, such as the ones mentioned above, and adopting a more realistic, healthier view of self-compassion.

Use self-compassion affirmations

Affirmations are a useful way to practice replacing negative self-talk with a more empathetic, kinder approach to how we talk to ourselves. When you catch yourself blaming or criticizing yourself, try using some of the self-compassion affirmations mentioned below:

  • “My mistakes just show that I’m growing and learning.”
  • “It’s safe for me to show kindness to myself.”
  • “I forgive myself and accept my flaws because nobody is perfect.”
  • “It’s okay to make mistakes and forgive myself.”

Write a compassionate letter or note to yourself

Some people find it helpful to find their compassionate voice through writing a letter to themselves. Here are two suggested ways to foster self-compassion through writing:

  1. Think of yourself as an imaginary friend who is unconditionally wise, loving, and compassionate, and write a letter to yourself from this perspective.
  2. What would you say to a close friend if they were facing the same concerns as you? Write a letter as if you were talking to this friend.

Give yourself permission to be imperfect

Easier said than done, but it is important. More often than not, we find ourselves struggling to allow ourselves to be anything less than perfect. Adopting a mindset that allows for imperfection can lessen some of the pressure to be perfect and welcome mistakes in a much gentler and nurturing approach.

What are boundaries?

Healthy boundaries are an important part of forming one’s identity and are a vital part of maintaining positive mental health and well-being. Common misconceptions, when it comes to setting healthy boundaries, revolve around the idea of being rude, disrespectful, and stubborn. In reality, setting boundaries are an important communicative instrument that outlines what an individual is willing to accept and what they are not. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, and material, and can range from those that are negotiable to those that may be more rigid. A complete lack of boundaries may indicate that someone lacks a strong sense of identity, is easily influenced by other people, or is even commonly taken advantage of.

Physical

Physical boundaries involve personal space, comfort with touch, and physical needs such as needing to eat, rest, and sleep. It’s certainly okay to tell others that you don’t like to be touched or that you would like some more space. It is also okay to tell others that you are hungry and would like to get something to eat. These can sound like “I’m not too keen on hugging, how about a handshake?”

Physical boundary violations include receiving unwanted or inappropriate touch, standing too close. It can also involve having someone come into your personal space in an uncomfortable way eg. A friend that walks into your house unannounced without knocking or ringing the bell.

Emotional

Emotional boundaries involve feelings, energy, and values. Setting emotional boundaries includes identifying how much emotional energy you are taking in, knowing when to share, and limiting emotional sharing with those who respond in an invalidating manner. This kind of boundary can sound like “I hear that this conversation is important to you. Right now is not a good time for me to take all of this in. Do you think we can get back to this at a later time?”

Emotional boundary violations can include assuming how other people feel, dismissing and/or criticizing feelings.

Material

Material boundaries refer to items and possessions such as your home, car, clothes, money, etc. It is important to understand and be clear on what you are willing and not willing to share, and how you expect your materials to be treated by the people you share them with. This kind of boundary may sound like “Sure, I would be happy to lend you my jacket. However, I need it back by Friday.”

Violations of material boundaries occur when things you have shared are destroyed, stolen, or ‘borrowed’ too frequently.

Verbalizing our feelings and expressing our needs begins in early childhood with our families, and then in our friend circles. These early boundaries are internalized and determine how comfortable we are standing up for ourselves. The inability to set boundaries usually stems from fears such as abandonment, losing the relationship, hurting other people’s feelings, being judged, being disliked, made fun of, etc.

Initially setting boundaries can come with a sense of guilt which can make it feel like it’s the wrong thing to do. Other people may not always be understanding of the reasons for our boundaries. Some may show resistance and even respond aggressively – this may be due to the possibility that, to them, your boundary means that they will not get what they want. Boundaries can be thought of as the terms under which a relationship can progress further. In contrast to common stereotypical misconceptions, people place boundaries in their relationships because they want to continue to carry them further in their life, and in a healthier manner.

Boundaries are an important aspect of self-care and are important in all aspects of our lives. They allow us to be our true selves, set realistic expectations, and create safety. As essential as it is to prioritize our needs, it is also equally critical that we respect the boundaries that other people have set for themselves.

Transactional vs Transformative Leadership

The concept of leadership is quite simple: a leader is one that aims to motivate and guide others to achieve an agreed objective. However, when we consider the diversity of leaders, it starts to become a little more complicated. Immediately we start to notice vast differences in how each person leads.

Commonly known as leadership styles, it refers to a leader’s behavioral characteristics when directing, motivating, mentoring, and achieving work expectations. Fortunately, researchers have delved deep into this topic to ascertain how to better communicate and motivate teams. As a result, different theories and frameworks were developed to help identify and understand the various leadership styles.

Most leadership styles tend to be either transactional or transformative. Generally, each of these types of leadership has different ways to influence attitudes and motivation among the employees.

Transactional leadership

As the name suggests, the transactional leadership style views a leader-employee relationship as a transaction. Leaders who adopt this highly directive style base leadership on a system of rewards and penalties in order to motivate the employees. For example, higher pay given in an exchange for increased productivity. Transactional leaders use a pragmatic approach to tackle problems, think of solutions, and drive people to get things done. As a result, employees receive definite and clear commands and are often carefully monitored to ensure that these expectations are met.

Pros

  • Transactional leadership tends to be most effective when problems are straightforward and clear. This style also works better for crisis situations where a solution is needed immediately.
  • As the leader is in command, it removes room for confusion and guesswork errors.
  • Transactional leadership creates clearly defined roles. Employees know what they are told to do and what they can achieve in exchange for their performance.
  • As this leadership is based on different sources of motivation, employees are motivated to perform well and achieve these rewards.

Cons

  • A transactional approach discourages out-of-the-box thinking and creative input from the employees because of its straightforward leadership.
  • There is a lack of focus on building relationships within the work environment. Because of the strict focus on using rewards to motivate employees, transactional leaders may not consider the working environment and tend to miss an attempt to build relationships with their employees.

Transformational leadership

Transformational leadership is a leadership style that directs positive changes to the employees. Not only do these leaders aim at achieving team objectives, but they also do so by focusing on employee needs and encourages them to reach their full potential. Unlike transactional leaders, transformational leaders find solutions by brainstorming and encouraging creativity among everyone in the team through an approach that inspires, nurtures, and develops the employees.

Pros

  • Research shows that this style of leadership is associated with positive effects on career employee development, satisfaction, and wellbeing as their needs are considered when expectations are to be met.
  • Employee creative input is encouraged and valued.
  • The experience is considered purposeful and enjoyable by the employees as their own needs and growth are highlighted in the process.
  • Leaders are value-driven and ethics-focused which encourages a shared group vision.

Cons

  • Employees may experience confusion as transformational leaders tend to take more risks in their approach to meeting expectations.
  • Transformational leadership tends to become too conceptual as proper task focus may lack for those employees that need proper guidance.

Research has shown that employees are also more likely to feel inspired, empowered, and stimulated to be part of the team and exceed in their team responsibilities when they receive leadership that is transformational. As a result, employees led by a transformative leader are more satisfied and often report higher levels of individual and team performance.

Whether you learned about leadership styles after reading this blog, it is likely that you are already applying some of the elements of transactional and transformative leadership. Here are some questions that you can use as a start to reflect on if you are leading with components of transformational leadership within your professional work: These questions were adapted from and inspired by Carless, Wearing, and Mann’s (2000) work.

  • Creative: Do I encourage people to think outside the box? Do I ask questions or simply take policies and procedures at face value?
  • Interactive: Do I encourage and recognize my employees for the work they are doing? Do I make myself accessible?
  • Visionary: Do I articulate a clear vision of the future for my employees?
  • Empowering: Do I actively work to build trust and foster teamwork?
  • Passionate: Do I show enthusiasm for the work I am doing? Do I provide extra encouragement when my employees seem discouraged?
  • Relationship builders: Do I take the time to get to know my employees personally?
  • Influence agents: Do I strive to be a good role model to my employees?

To sum up the difference between transactional and transformative leadership: transactional leadership looks at how to get things done through the use of rewards and punishments, and transformational leadership looks at how to inspire and motivate people to do things.

How to Relax at Work – Simple Techniques

While it may be well known that aspects of work can cause stress, less is known about ways to effectively relieve it. Whether it’s a new job, a promotion, tight deadlines, or uncooperative colleagues, everyone has aspects of their worklife that stress them out. In such times, it is important to manage thoughts and feelings in a way that helps rejuvenate, rather than compound what we are already experiencing. Some people may find that their work stressors not only affect their professional life, but aspects of their personal life as well, such as health, family, and relationships. Practicing techniques how to relax at work is one of the easiest ways to lower stress levels, manage symptoms of anxiety and depression, reduce absenteeism and increase productivity.
Although avoiding stressful situations altogether sounds like an appealing idea, this may not always be possible. Relaxation techniques involve refocusing attention towards something calming and increasing awareness of bodily sensations. Contrary to popular belief, relaxation is not only relevant to enjoying a hobby or achieving peace of mind. It is a process that decreases the effects of stress on the mind as well as the body.
Individuals who are more relaxed at work report being more motivated, take fewer sick leaves, and engage in less procrastination. Effectively organizing the physical workspace has also shown to declutter and calm the mind and boost productivity. Some relaxing elements of work environments include elements of nature such as plants and aquariums. While direct contact with nature has several health benefits, research shows that even glimpses of nature through a window or photographs can improve mental health and satisfaction and reduce stress levels.
Taking breaks from long periods of work is also an important part of maintaining health, efficiency, and productivity.
Some health benefits of relaxation include:
  • Improved digestion
  • Higher energy levels
  • Increased confidence
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Improved concentration
  • Improved quality of sleep
  • Reduced activity of stress hormones
  • Increased blood flow to major muscles
Some types of relaxation include:

Autogenic Relaxation

Autogenic relaxation is a technique that focuses on teaching the body to respond to verbal commands. This can include using visual imagery and bodily awareness to reduce stress. For some, it can look like repeating words and/or phrases either mentally or verbally, encouraging relaxation and reducing muscle tension. For example, individuals may imagine a peaceful environment, then focus on controlled and relaxed breathing which slows down their heart rate. Attention can then be diverted to feeling other physiological sensations such as relaxing each part of the body.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This technique focuses on slowly tensing and relaxing each muscle group, directing individuals’ focus to the difference between muscle tension and relaxation and simultaneously increasing awareness of physical sensations. One way of doing this is starting by tensing and relaxing the toe muscles, progressively working up to the muscles of the head and neck, and then back down to the toes. Some practice tensing for five seconds, relaxing for thirty seconds, and then repeating.

Visualization

This relaxation technique involves forming mental conceptions to take a visual journey to a peaceful and calming place or situation. Relaxing using this technique is most effective when the sensations associated with all the senses are incorporated into the visualized scenario. An example of visualizing relaxing on the beach may include thinking about the warmth of the sun on one’s body, the smell of saltwater, the sound of crashing waves, and the texture of sand. A quiet spot void of distractions where individuals can close their eyes, loosen any tight clothing and focus on their breathing helps to make the visualization more vivid.
It is important to remember that instinctually implementing these techniques is a skill that will improve gradually with time and practice. Different techniques may be more suited to different types of people. With this in mind, it may be beneficial to consider professional mental health services if feelings of stress and discomfort are persistent and seem overwhelming.

Resilience at Work

A common recurring question within the work environment is ‘why do some people thrive and succeed in times of difficulty and others do not?’. Although there is no one right answer or characteristic of a person that guarantees organizational success, a skill that seems to significantly contribute is resilience. By definition, resilience is the ability to effectively adapt to difficulty and move forward. Several misconceptions surround the representation of a resilient person such as someone who is ‘thick-skinned’, never fails, never feels stress, and is immune to negative emotions. This stereotypical understanding of resilience is further propagated in the media for example, where individuals are praised and portrayed in a positive light for equating these unrealistic and inaccurate standards to the meaning of resilience. It is not a characteristic that some people possess, and others do not, rather, it is an active process that requires maintenance. In reality, being a resilient person does not mean being unaffected by negative situations or experiences. On the contrary, being resilient requires confronting the things that bring discomfort and experiencing emotional pain. In light of this, it is also important to realize that building resilience is a personal journey that requires considerable patience, effort, introspection, and practice.

While also considering that many individuals are now a part of a constantly connected and highly demanding work culture, resilience can be seen as especially useful in the workplace as for many people this can be a source of significant distress. Unrealistic demands, organizational change, lack of recognition, and poor interpersonal relationships are some of the most commonly reported work-related stressors, which can be naturally confusing and difficult to navigate. Coping with these stressors in a healthy way requires maintaining several interconnected factors of resilience. Such factors include how individuals manage their thoughts and feelings, set goals and foster self-motivation, focus on positive change in a way that encourages the acceptance of failures, and foster support systems inclusive of emotional and physical care.

In practice, to some people, this may look like journaling, engaging in prayer and religious rituals, or meditation and mindfulness practices. It can also look like taking time to engage in areas of their life other than work, such as pursuing a hobby or spending time with family and friends. In essence, these help individuals connect to themselves in a way that works for them and nurtures purpose in their lives as a whole, which in turn, helps them cope better with stressors in different aspects of their life such as work.

Being a resilient person in the workplace is equally important for employees of all statures as all of them, on some level, have to navigate difficult situations. Such instances may present themselves, for example, while working in collaboration with team members or adapting to a change in the organizational structure. Understanding the importance of resilience promotes empathy and consideration for others, allowing for increased internal support. Resilience enables people to separate themselves from their stressors and view their situations from an impersonal perspective. This further helps them communicate their needs and wants more effectively, handle challenges better and reduce their likelihood of burnout and presenteeism. From a broader perspective, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth and learning encourages an optimistic mindset, where individuals are passion-driven and proactively seek development, which further stimulates the progression and productivity of the company.