Tag: resilience

An Invitation to Refresh, Replenish, Rejuvenate and manage the stress in our daily lives- Nature Therapy

By Suzanne Radford

Feeling housebound and the effects of ‘cabin fever’?

One way to help manage stress and anxiety is to connect to nature as a way to quieten the mind and body.  I work between the beauty of the sea and desert in the UAE and the forest and mountains where I live in Southern Portugal. Great if you can access natural spaces from your balcony, garden or walk on a beach or through trees but you can also gain benefits from connecting to nature from inside your home or office. I offer invitations on my forest bathing walks, to sit and feel the breeze on the skin, to notice sounds near and far, to smell the scent of leaves, bark and flowers and to taste the sweet freshness of the air. Water invitations are a lovely way to awaken all the senses and relax.

To observe water in a natural setting and listen to its sound can put our overloaded minds at rest. Whilst you are not required to actually swim, one of the most powerful elements of a forest bathing walk is being invited to sit or stand by the water and notice how it flows and what the sensations are that you feel when placing your hands or feet into the water. At home you could create a foot spa by using warm water with a drop of lavender or peppermint essential oil and soak your feet, close your eyes and notice how it feels.

Negative ions generated by waterfalls, ocean waves, and thunderstorms can give us a boost, negative ions in the atmosphere accelerate our ability to absorb oxygen, they can balance our mood and the stress hormone, serotonin. Negative ions can help rejuvenate the mind and improve our sense of wellbeing and even bring about a good night’s sleep.

So, as you sit with water notice its movement, the ripples or shapes that the water makes as you gently move your feet through it. As you sit with your eyes closed, notice the scent and breathe in, and breathe out. This could be done in the same way just soaking your hands in water. Imagine you are sitting by a river or waterfall and imagine the sound and sensations. If you are feeling any tension in the body gently stretch it out and slowly allow your body the time and space to just sit with the feeling of water and notice how it feels.

I invite you to sit with the waterfall and notice how the water flows. Follow the lines of the water as it falls. Watch the movement, the light and the shapes. Listen to the sound and breathe in, and breathe out…

Nature Therapy Waterfalls

Sipping on a refreshing juice or herbal tea or a chilled glass of water with a slice of cucumber or lemon and let the healing power of water wash over you leaving you feeling revitalized and rejuvenated.

 

Suzanne Radford is a Nature Therapy & Communication Coach, Forest Bathing Guide, Founder of The Nature Pod and International Consultant with the Human Relations Institute & Clinics. Contact us to find out more about our Nature Therapy for Stress Management 6 week online support group and series of workshops or our 1:1 coaching in nature therapy. 

Be your own best friend – Fostering Self-Compassion

When we are having a difficult time, when we make mistakes, or when things go wrong, it’s familiar for most of us to fall into harsh self-talk and judgment. Statements like “I hate myself” or “Why can’t I ever get things right!” pop in our head, leaving us feeling worse than we already do, right?

Take a minute to think about how you would respond to a dear friend, close family member, or a loved one if they had these same concerns? Many of us would be quick to support them, acting immediately with kindness, understanding, and encouragement and using statements such as “You tried your best” or “It’s okay to feel the way you do.”

Now, imagine instead how it might feel to speak to yourself the way you speak to others. Directing these types of gentle responses internally, toward ourselves, is known as self-compassion. Described as “healing ourselves with kindness” by Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion encourages taking on a kinder, gentler approach in our most important relationship – the one we have with ourselves.

But why is it harder to be compassionate to ourselves? While being compassionate to others around us is attached to a positive connotation, expressing self-compassion has often been tied to a negative connotation. Common myths about self-compassion form some of the biggest blocks to developing a compassionate approach to the self. Of many, self-compassion has been conflated with narcissism, selfishness, and self-pity. It is important to recognize that these ideas are far from the truth. While self-compassion has a focus on the self, it’s more than just allowing ourselves to make mistakes, it’s about allowing ourselves to recover from these mistakes and move forward. Moreover, self-compassion helps us take care of ourselves, enabling us to take better care of those around us. It also gives us perspective and allows us to see our struggles in the larger context of shared humanity.

Just like the benefits of expressing compassion to others, there are also benefits to expressing compassion to ourselves. Research has reported an abundance of overall well-being benefits linked to self-compassion. That is, individuals who are more self-compassionate tend to have greater feelings of motivation, self-worth, happiness, and improved resilience that is needed to cope with stressful life events such as relationship breakups, job loss, and even retirement. Self-compassion can also reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and rumination. Some of the physical health benefits include improved immune system functioning, digestive and cardiovascular health.

The three elements of self-compassion

According to Dr. Neff, there are three elements of self-compassion that are important to understand. Those that have higher levels of self-compassion demonstrate these three elements: Self-kindness, Common humanity, and Mindfulness.

  1. Self-kindness (vs self-judgment): Self-kindness in the context of self-compassion is about approaching our shortcomings with kindness, warmth, and patience instead of judging or being critical with ourselves.
  2. Common humanity (vs isolation):  Recognizing that we are not alone in being imperfect or feeling hurt and that this experience is part of the collective human experience, rather than withdrawing or isolating ourselves from others.
  3. Mindfulness (vs over-identification): Allowing oneself to be aware of our thoughts and emotions whilst finding a balance to recognize them without the need to suppress or exaggerate them. Mindfulness also fosters acceptance of our inner world in the present moment.

Practicing self-compassion

Practicing self-compassion can be difficult, especially at first. Fortunately, it is a skill that can be learned and enhanced. Here are 6 ways that can help you start:

Develop self-awareness through mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness is a useful way in identifying your thoughts, feelings, and needs. As self-compassion is deeply rooted in mindfulness, it allows us to pay attention to our inner world and fosters acceptance of what we are feeling or thinking in the present moment.

Ask yourself “How would I talk to my friend?”

Next time you catch yourself being self-critical, try to reflect on how you would approach the situation if your friend was the one facing it. What would you say to him/her, and in what tone of voice would you say it? What would you do? Thinking about this could be the first step in reflecting on where you lie with being compassionate with yourself.

Bust the self-compassion myths

Change the way you think about self-compassion by being aware of the self-compassion myths, such as the ones mentioned above, and adopting a more realistic, healthier view of self-compassion.

Use self-compassion affirmations

Affirmations are a useful way to practice replacing negative self-talk with a more empathetic, kinder approach to how we talk to ourselves. When you catch yourself blaming or criticizing yourself, try using some of the self-compassion affirmations mentioned below:

  • “My mistakes just show that I’m growing and learning.”
  • “It’s safe for me to show kindness to myself.”
  • “I forgive myself and accept my flaws because nobody is perfect.”
  • “It’s okay to make mistakes and forgive myself.”

Write a compassionate letter or note to yourself

Some people find it helpful to find their compassionate voice through writing a letter to themselves. Here are two suggested ways to foster self-compassion through writing:

  1. Think of yourself as an imaginary friend who is unconditionally wise, loving, and compassionate, and write a letter to yourself from this perspective.
  2. What would you say to a close friend if they were facing the same concerns as you? Write a letter as if you were talking to this friend.

Give yourself permission to be imperfect

Easier said than done, but it is important. More often than not, we find ourselves struggling to allow ourselves to be anything less than perfect. Adopting a mindset that allows for imperfection can lessen some of the pressure to be perfect and welcome mistakes in a much gentler and nurturing approach.

Trauma Response (The 4 F’s – Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn)

How does your body respond when you perceive danger or a threat? Often known as a trauma response, it is an initial reaction that is triggered when there is a perception of or an actual threat, like an oncoming car or a growling dog. Research has compiled evidence for different trauma responses that we tend to display in order to protect ourselves from the threat or perceived threat. The responses are usually referred to as the 4Fs – Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn and have evolved as a survival mechanism to help us react quickly to life-threatening situations. When our brain perceives a threat, we automatically react with one of these 4 trauma responses, depending on factors such as individual differences and past experiences of trauma.

In saying so, it is possible for some individuals to have an overactivation of their trauma responses. What this means is that even in non-threatening situations, their trauma responses could be activated. Research suggests that an overactivation of our trauma responses is associated with a decline in our physical and psychological health. That is, chronic stress may contribute to high blood pressure, burnout, decreased immunity, and an increase in anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, and substance use problems.

In this blog, we’ll further explore what each response entails, along with the associated thoughts and behaviors, followed by some helpful ways to cope with overactive trauma responses.

Fight Response

Fight types protect themselves from threat through conflict.

Those that tend towards the fight response believe that if they establish power over the threat, it will result in security and control. This response may feel like an adrenaline rush, accompanied with a desire to defend oneself through fighting, yelling at, or controlling others. The thought behind this response is “I need to eliminate the threat before it eliminates me.” Behaviors that might indicate this trauma response are:

  • Crying
  • Hands in fists, desire to punch
  • Flexed/tight jaw, grinding teeth
  • Fight in eyes, glaring, fight in voice
  • Desire to stomp, kick, smash with legs, feet
  • Feelings of anger/rage
  • Knotted stomach/nausea, burning stomach 

Flight Response

Flight types protect themselves from threat through escape.

Those that engage in this trauma response, cope with a threat by running from or fleeing the situation. People engaging in a flight response often report difficulties with relaxation and sitting still as they are constantly worrying, rushing, hiding, or panicking when they feel threatened. The thought behind the response is “I need to run from the situation before it can hurt me.” Behaviors that might indicate this trauma response are:

  • Restless legs, feet /numbness in legs
  • Anxiety/shallow breathing
  • Big/darting eyes
  • Leg/foot movement
  • Reported or observed fidgety-ness, restlessness, feeling trapped

Freeze Response

Freeze types protect themselves from threat through dissociation.

When faced with a threatening situation, those that tend towards this trauma response unconsciously detach from the situation by “freezing”, or spacing out. The body can feel rigid and become immobilized by the stress. This way of dealing with perceived danger may result in difficulty making decisions or getting motivated. The thought behind this response is “If I don’t do anything, the threat cannot hurt me.” Behaviors that might indicate this trauma response are:

  • Feeling stuck in some part of the body
  • Feeling cold/frozen, numb, pale skin
  • Sense of stiffness, heaviness
  • Holding breath/restricted breathing
  • Sense of dread, heart pounding
  • Decreased heart rate (can sometimes increase)

 Fawn Response (newer to the field and not as researched)

Fawn types protect themselves from threat through placation.

Those that tend to the fawn response avoid or deal with conflict through “people-pleasing.” They also experience difficulties in saying no and are afraid to share what they really think or feel in fear of how others might perceive them. They also are so accommodating of other’s needs, that they tend to ignore their own. The thought behind this response is, “If I can appease this person, I can be safe from conflict or pain.” Behaviors that might indicate this trauma response are:

  • Over apologizing to others
  • Difficulty saying no
  • Excessive flattering the other person
  • Going out of the way to please others
  • Neglecting one’s own needs
  • Pretending to agree with others

As mentioned, when our trauma responses are overactive, we are more likely to feel threatened by non-threatening stressors. Fortunately, there are some ways to cope when trauma responses are overactive:

  • Learn relaxation techniques: Techniques such as meditation, yoga, or deep abdominal breathing can help in counteracting the stress responses and allow the body to enter into a calmer state.
  • Engage in physical exercises: Engaging in physical activity is another way to promote calmness in the body. The benefits of regularly exercising have been long mentioned in the research such as increasing endorphins and decreasing stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol.
  • Seek social support: Finding support from the people around you can help reduce psychological and physiological reactions to perceived threats. Research has found evidence for support by listing benefits such as providing a sense of safety and protection, which in turn helps you feel less stressed and fearful.
  • Gain awareness of triggers: When we are able to understand what triggers our trauma responses, it leaves us in a better position to understand our responses and create new, healthier coping strategies to deal with the threat or trigger.
  • Practice self-compassion: It is also important to not judge your trauma responses or feel ashamed of them. Recognize that these responses, at one point, served as your understanding of the best way to cope with a threat. With an open mind, gain an understanding that our trauma responses may not seem to always be useful in protecting us, the way they did in the past, in current non-threatening situations.

Do you recognize yourself in any of these trauma responses?

 

Bullying in the Workplace

Workplace Bullying

With bullying, the idea that usually comes to mind may involve children or teenagers misbehaving, discriminating, and/or harassing one another. Bullying commonly involves a power imbalance and includes behaviors that are unwanted, threatening, humiliating, harmful, aggressive, offensive, and/or intimidating. These can be both verbal and physical. Bullying can be thought of as a mechanism used to re-take control and proclaim dominance that an individual may have felt they lost at some point in their lives. Bullies usually target those who may seem smaller, weaker, younger, or more vulnerable than themselves.

However, these instances and behaviors are not exclusive to youngsters and are also prevalent in various aspects of adult life, such as interpersonal and professional relationships. Although it may be widely observed in society, it is not always recognized as ‘bullying’ and thus, appropriate interventions are not implemented. Whether it is between children, teenagers, or adults, bullying is an issue that deserves attention as it can have a detrimental impact on an individual’s mental and physical health. Mental health effects include worrying about work constantly, wanting to avoid going to work, needing time off to recover from stress, a general loss of interest, and an increased risk of anxiety and depression. The physical health effects include feeling sick or anxious when thinking about work, digestive problems, high blood pressure, headaches, decreased appetite, and poor quality of sleep.

Bullying in the workplace also causes financial difficulties as individuals tend to leave their jobs as a result of being bullied. Some examples of bullying in this context include personal attacks such as yelling, threatening, and spreading rumors, as well as manipulation tactics, such as isolation, sabotage, micromanagement, and unrealistic deadlines.

In the work environment, bullies are often found to be bosses or high-functioning employees who are valued and supported by others because of their status and contribution to the company. In these cases, bullying may involve the abuse of power such as unjustified negative performance reviews, denial of time off, and threats of termination or demotion. However, bullying can also occur in other levels of employment. Those working at the same level may bully through gossip, rumors, work sabotage, and/or criticism. Lower-level employees may bully those above them by showing continuous disrespect, refusing to complete tasks, and doing things that may portray their superior in a negative light. Bullying not only impacts the target but increases stress for all those who witness it. Employees are also impacted in the form of decreases in trust, productivity, morale, and efficiency as well as increases in absenteeism and employee turnover.

Bullying has been shown to be more prevalent in work environments that:

  • Are stressful
  • Change frequently
  • Have heavy workloads
  • Have unclear policies about employee behavior
  • Have poor employee communication and relationships
  • Have more employees who are bored and worried about job security

Bullying is recognized as a serious problem in many organizations, and while most have a zero-tolerance policy, bullying can be difficult to prove, which in turn, makes it difficult for the necessary measures to be taken. Witnesses to bullying often refrain from intervening and stay silent out of a fear of becoming a target themselves. It is important to speak up and attempt to stop bullying when we witness it, as ignoring it contributes to a harmful work environment.

Effective ways to help include:

Offering support – this could involve being a witness if the targeted individual wants to ask the bully to stop.

Listening – If someone being bullied doesn’t feel safe reporting the bullying to HR, they may find it beneficial to have someone to talk to.

Reporting the incident – A third-party account of what happened may help bring attention to the problem, allowing it to be taken seriously by management and others.

Transactional vs Transformative Leadership

The concept of leadership is quite simple: a leader is one that aims to motivate and guide others to achieve an agreed objective. However, when we consider the diversity of leaders, it starts to become a little more complicated. Immediately we start to notice vast differences in how each person leads.

Commonly known as leadership styles, it refers to a leader’s behavioral characteristics when directing, motivating, mentoring, and achieving work expectations. Fortunately, researchers have delved deep into this topic to ascertain how to better communicate and motivate teams. As a result, different theories and frameworks were developed to help identify and understand the various leadership styles.

Most leadership styles tend to be either transactional or transformative. Generally, each of these types of leadership has different ways to influence attitudes and motivation among the employees.

Transactional leadership

As the name suggests, the transactional leadership style views a leader-employee relationship as a transaction. Leaders who adopt this highly directive style base leadership on a system of rewards and penalties in order to motivate the employees. For example, higher pay given in an exchange for increased productivity. Transactional leaders use a pragmatic approach to tackle problems, think of solutions, and drive people to get things done. As a result, employees receive definite and clear commands and are often carefully monitored to ensure that these expectations are met.

Pros

  • Transactional leadership tends to be most effective when problems are straightforward and clear. This style also works better for crisis situations where a solution is needed immediately.
  • As the leader is in command, it removes room for confusion and guesswork errors.
  • Transactional leadership creates clearly defined roles. Employees know what they are told to do and what they can achieve in exchange for their performance.
  • As this leadership is based on different sources of motivation, employees are motivated to perform well and achieve these rewards.

Cons

  • A transactional approach discourages out-of-the-box thinking and creative input from the employees because of its straightforward leadership.
  • There is a lack of focus on building relationships within the work environment. Because of the strict focus on using rewards to motivate employees, transactional leaders may not consider the working environment and tend to miss an attempt to build relationships with their employees.

Transformational leadership

Transformational leadership is a leadership style that directs positive changes to the employees. Not only do these leaders aim at achieving team objectives, but they also do so by focusing on employee needs and encourages them to reach their full potential. Unlike transactional leaders, transformational leaders find solutions by brainstorming and encouraging creativity among everyone in the team through an approach that inspires, nurtures, and develops the employees.

Pros

  • Research shows that this style of leadership is associated with positive effects on career employee development, satisfaction, and wellbeing as their needs are considered when expectations are to be met.
  • Employee creative input is encouraged and valued.
  • The experience is considered purposeful and enjoyable by the employees as their own needs and growth are highlighted in the process.
  • Leaders are value-driven and ethics-focused which encourages a shared group vision.

Cons

  • Employees may experience confusion as transformational leaders tend to take more risks in their approach to meeting expectations.
  • Transformational leadership tends to become too conceptual as proper task focus may lack for those employees that need proper guidance.

Research has shown that employees are also more likely to feel inspired, empowered, and stimulated to be part of the team and exceed in their team responsibilities when they receive leadership that is transformational. As a result, employees led by a transformative leader are more satisfied and often report higher levels of individual and team performance.

Whether you learned about leadership styles after reading this blog, it is likely that you are already applying some of the elements of transactional and transformative leadership. Here are some questions that you can use as a start to reflect on if you are leading with components of transformational leadership within your professional work: These questions were adapted from and inspired by Carless, Wearing, and Mann’s (2000) work.

  • Creative: Do I encourage people to think outside the box? Do I ask questions or simply take policies and procedures at face value?
  • Interactive: Do I encourage and recognize my employees for the work they are doing? Do I make myself accessible?
  • Visionary: Do I articulate a clear vision of the future for my employees?
  • Empowering: Do I actively work to build trust and foster teamwork?
  • Passionate: Do I show enthusiasm for the work I am doing? Do I provide extra encouragement when my employees seem discouraged?
  • Relationship builders: Do I take the time to get to know my employees personally?
  • Influence agents: Do I strive to be a good role model to my employees?

To sum up the difference between transactional and transformative leadership: transactional leadership looks at how to get things done through the use of rewards and punishments, and transformational leadership looks at how to inspire and motivate people to do things.

Resilience at Work

A common recurring question within the work environment is ‘why do some people thrive and succeed in times of difficulty and others do not?’. Although there is no one right answer or characteristic of a person that guarantees organizational success, a skill that seems to significantly contribute is resilience. By definition, resilience is the ability to effectively adapt to difficulty and move forward. Several misconceptions surround the representation of a resilient person such as someone who is ‘thick-skinned’, never fails, never feels stress, and is immune to negative emotions. This stereotypical understanding of resilience is further propagated in the media for example, where individuals are praised and portrayed in a positive light for equating these unrealistic and inaccurate standards to the meaning of resilience. It is not a characteristic that some people possess, and others do not, rather, it is an active process that requires maintenance. In reality, being a resilient person does not mean being unaffected by negative situations or experiences. On the contrary, being resilient requires confronting the things that bring discomfort and experiencing emotional pain. In light of this, it is also important to realize that building resilience is a personal journey that requires considerable patience, effort, introspection, and practice.

While also considering that many individuals are now a part of a constantly connected and highly demanding work culture, resilience can be seen as especially useful in the workplace as for many people this can be a source of significant distress. Unrealistic demands, organizational change, lack of recognition, and poor interpersonal relationships are some of the most commonly reported work-related stressors, which can be naturally confusing and difficult to navigate. Coping with these stressors in a healthy way requires maintaining several interconnected factors of resilience. Such factors include how individuals manage their thoughts and feelings, set goals and foster self-motivation, focus on positive change in a way that encourages the acceptance of failures, and foster support systems inclusive of emotional and physical care.

In practice, to some people, this may look like journaling, engaging in prayer and religious rituals, or meditation and mindfulness practices. It can also look like taking time to engage in areas of their life other than work, such as pursuing a hobby or spending time with family and friends. In essence, these help individuals connect to themselves in a way that works for them and nurtures purpose in their lives as a whole, which in turn, helps them cope better with stressors in different aspects of their life such as work.

Being a resilient person in the workplace is equally important for employees of all statures as all of them, on some level, have to navigate difficult situations. Such instances may present themselves, for example, while working in collaboration with team members or adapting to a change in the organizational structure. Understanding the importance of resilience promotes empathy and consideration for others, allowing for increased internal support. Resilience enables people to separate themselves from their stressors and view their situations from an impersonal perspective. This further helps them communicate their needs and wants more effectively, handle challenges better and reduce their likelihood of burnout and presenteeism. From a broader perspective, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth and learning encourages an optimistic mindset, where individuals are passion-driven and proactively seek development, which further stimulates the progression and productivity of the company.